


Microwave Hijinks in the Wallace Household

by Gothams_Only_Wolf



Series: The Care and Handling of Silver Chickabos [1]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chikabos verse, Domestic Fluff, Family Shenanigans, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M, Microwave loses every time, Minor Aerith Gainsborough/Cloud Strife, Remnants vs Microwave, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 17:44:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5384639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothams_Only_Wolf/pseuds/Gothams_Only_Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Big brother, the microwave is on fire."</p><p>"I'll handle it after I beat Sephiroth." </p><p>AKA Remnants have no idea how to do anything and get into the worst sort of trouble</p>
            </blockquote>





	Microwave Hijinks in the Wallace Household

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PurrfectCatastrophe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurrfectCatastrophe/gifts).



> Just a blurb with some cracky, unrepentant floof. Prompted from an OT3 prompt on toxix's Tumblr. Enjoy~

* * *

Cloud honestly didn't know what to do with the Remnants. 

They were like silver-haired murder puppies that had to be paid attention to at all times or you'd find them with a small Midgar Zolom in their _mouths_ and singed eyebrows. Tifa, Yuffie and Cid refused to look after them on the grounds that they looked too much like Sephiroth. 

Vincent just stared them down if they pestered him too much and Barret... Barret was infinitely patient, possibly because he'd had Marlene first. He was also Cloud's savior. 

"I'll take 'em with me Spikey but you gotta come check on them every now and again, y'hear?" Barret had bargained with Cloud and here he was, checking in on them at the Wallace household. 

Loz perked up at the sound of Cloud's bike pulling into the driveway. Cloud caught him mid-tackle and lifted him above his head with a sigh. "You're here! Yaz, 'Daj, he's home!" 

"Where's Marlene?" Cloud tilted Loz to face him as he asked. 

"Playing a game ShinRa brought by for her. I wanted to bench press him but Barret said no." Loz cheerfully informed him. Cloud slapped a hand over his face and dragged it down with a groan. 

"You don't bench-press people. I don't care how boring the weights are. Put on more if you really want a challenge. I'll even ask ShinRa to make you SOLDIER strength ones." He pleaded as he marched over to Barret's two-story cottage. Marlene waved from her spot in the living room, the game put on pause. Cloud gently set down the largest of the Remnants on the couch and turned to Marlene. "Hey." 

"Hey Cloud. ShinRa made a game about you guys. They said it was still in the Beta-Testing phase and wanted me to try it out." Marlene explained as she gestured at the screen. 

"About us? You mean AVALANCHE." Cloud shucked off his boots and sat next her. ShinRa hadn't mentioned that in their last WRO meeting... Now he was intrigued. 

"Uh-huh. Did you really think you were Zack?" 

"... Yeah, for a while." He answered honestly.

* * *

"Oh come _on_! That's not even how it happened?! Stupid controls. Why does it take forever to get a hit on him?" Cloud's playing the game now that Marlene went through it once. "I can't even get a good slice on him. Seriously, this controller would be better as a fake sword handle with motion sensing." 

Marlene was grinning as she wrote it all down, Cloud's tongue sticking out as he sliced at Sephiroth with the avatar that looked like him. 

"Big brother, the microwave is on fire." Yazoo announced imperiously as he glided into the living room. "Fix it. Kadaj thought it would be a good idea to stick a Jiffy Pop into the microwave. I told him it wouldn't work." 

"I'll handle it after I beat Sephiroth." Cloud countered as he twisted the controller just right to get in the last combo steps for his OmniSlash Limit Break. " ** _AH-HA!_** I finally gotcha you stubborn bastard." He dropped into Nibel to celebrate his win punching a fist into the air like Yuffie usually did. 

The silence drew him out of it, Cloud blushing as he saw all three Remnants staring at him and one vastly amused Barret with a phone in hand. 

"What?" He barked in Common, a trace of Nibel still there. 

"You're finally acting your age, Spikey." 

"I'm twenty-four." Cloud snorted as he left the controller and credit scene to pick up the broken microwave in one hand. He deftly switched out the inside and the fried motherboard before setting it back on the kitchen counter, waving a towel to get rid of the smoke. 

This is far from the first microwave the Remnant triplets have destroyed; Cloud had to design one that could take thier strength and stupidity. 

They all stare at the microwave after Barret puts in actual popcorn, three pairs of green kitty eyes watching the revolutions in complete and utter fascination. Cloud smiled briefly as he patted them all on the head as he walked, pulling his boots back on at the door. Barret caught his arm gently as he motioned he'd follow Cloud to his bike. 

"They're doing better." 

"I honestly thought they were going to kill you that first week," Cloud admitted finally. 

"Nah. Marlene set the example and they followed her around like ducks for most of it." Barret murmured, shoulders touching as they sat on the bike. Fenrir creaked under the weight of a SOLDIER and a 6'5" man but held up. "You were herding them from place to place and constantly checkin' in on us. I think they liked that." 

"Sometimes they're like _him_ —so much like him—that I have to tell myself they're people. Hojo made them, created them but the Remnants are thier own kind." Cloud sighed as he watched the triplets through the kitchen window. "I never knew the real Sephiroth, not like Zack did, but I imagine some parts of him are there. The good pieces and the bad." 

"You think too much, Spikey." Barret snorted. "But yeah, I understand what you mean." 

"Barret?" Cloud glanced at Barret and then down at his hands before his courage failed him, like it always did when it was matters of the heart. 

"Yeah?" 

"Never mind." Cloud cursed his fair skin that flushed red whenever he got embarrassed. 

"C'mon. It can't be that bad." Barret encouraged and Cloud, Shiva did Cloud want to kiss him then, breathed it out. 

"I want to kiss you." He abruptly stood with his hands hiding his burning red face. Cloud turned to tell Barret that he would understand if the other man wouldn't want to talk to him again. What he saw was Barret still sitting on Fenrir, patting the seat with a small smile. "I've wanted to for a while now." 

"Ever kissed someone before?" 

"Aerith." Barret softened even further at his answer and cupped Cloud's chin with his metal hand. Cloud's eyes closed as Barret's lips touched his, different and yet the same as Aerith's. They kissed until Barret had to pull back for breath and Cloud's eyes opened again to see Barret looking at him fondly. 

"I think I like that look on you, Cloud." 

"Me too." 

They touched foreheads and watched as Marlene chased the Remnants out of the cottage with a wooden spoon taped over with a paper sheet that looked like Cloud's sword as the smell of burnt popcorn wafted from the kitchen window again. They tangled their fingers together, Cloud leaning on Barret's shoulder as the Remnants scrambled up the tree to escape Marlene.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, complain, ect.


End file.
